The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
