didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Randomize
