Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Randomize