so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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