Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
