It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
