In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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