i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
