thus making me awesome and them whores
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Randomize
