If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Just cropdusted the office
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
