I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
