I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
my poor anus
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
