How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize