So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize