You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Randomize
