sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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