first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
