This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Randomize
