I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
