i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Randomize
