I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
