He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
