hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
