if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize