Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
