The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
