I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
