my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
