She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
it glows. i had to have it.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
