recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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