I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Randomize