I'm sorry my penis didn't work
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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