That's intense
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
So squirting runs in the family.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
