is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
