I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
