she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
