Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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