had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Randomize
