I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
