Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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