Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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