Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Randomize
