I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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