you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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