I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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