Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Randomize
