yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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