He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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