she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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