I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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