he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize
