PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
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