and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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