Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Randomize
