The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
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