I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
