so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Randomize
