You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
