I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
bring money and cleavage
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
