Betty ford says i'm here all night
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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